hi don,
is it possible to collect ALL the lollies & chocolate in the house, anything that is a temptation for you, and either 1) throw them out, or 2) put them in a locked box with a key or code only she has access too? i'm concerned that she thought your request was unreasonable, as the support of your loved one is supreme in a) the optifast programme itself and b) for the surgery ahead you're having.
as for mother in law & christmas, well, frankly, if it's going to be a situation where your specific needs are ignored or worse, i personally wouldn't even go. i think sometimes the people around us feel more secure at having us as the 'fat person' and all that supposed role and stigma entails. when we make such positive attempts at changing things, they are the first to bring us down, put obstacles in the way or make us feel that we are the ones being unreasonable. these saboteurs are people we don't need around us if possible.
no, i'm not saying get a divorce or lock your MIL up, but careful explanation and discussion needs to be taken in hand, and boundaries established, so that you have the best shot at this succeeding, not just on a medical and physical level, but on a psychological & emotional level too. once you can take a clear look at the relationships around you and the imposed expectations of other towards you, you'll be able to really work out who is a saboteur and who is helping. they may not even realise that what they are doing is so damaging. if they do, however, then that's a whole other story.
good luck - it's certainly a challenging time ahead. remember with the optifast, drink loads of water, as it does help the hunger pains, and i think now they've made it so you can add some fruit too - but check what your surgeon has advised. in the end, you are doing this for yourself, and your results will be yours, so protect it at all costs.
kaz xx