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Hey Kaz,

Hope your recovery is quick & not too painful.... no idea's for exercises on your back and without hurting your back...hmmm... perhaps try googling to see what exerises you can do.

Jen

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SW: 96.1
CW: 81
GW: 61

Task this week: To get drink more water and try new healthy foods ... !!!

thanks y'all (didn't mean to sound like britney...oops!)

i've just got home from having the injection done. foot numb & bandaged. doc seems to think it won't be 10 days this time, maybe 5ish... so that's good to know - not as long out of action. he also suggested that if this doesn't work, to try and actually snap the pf by overworking it (!!) which will be initially painful but will be worth it in the long term, and that since that's all they'd do in surgery (which is the next option) i'd do well to try & snap it myself - less invasive... sheesh! seems a bit cavemanish!

am going brill on the non smoking. i think the hypnosis has removed all previous quit attempts cravings, feelings of loss/missing out/frustration you name it. it's as though i've never smoked & never had an addiction. can't quite put my finger on it. in a dream i had last night i thought "oh did i just have a cigarette? i don't smoke!" and then i smelt around me, and said "no of course i didn't have a cigarette... i'm a non smoker" lol was weird... guess it really has been getting into my subconscious.

normally i'd be sniffing out other smokers for a vicarious hit, now the smell just makes me feel ill. so.... fingers crossed! i haven't been having withdrawal rages, withdrawal anything. no pangs, no worries, no sadness. just clean slate fresh page perfection!

YAY!

*small voice* my foot is owie [:'(]

JDC:

Hey Kaz,

no idea's for exercises on your back

Jen

 You must have a sheltered life

 

I must admit all the exercises that fit this description are probably not that good for weight loss.

 

Hope the injection didn’t hurt too much

 

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Oh Kaz!  I so relate to the dream!  I still have them occasionally and wake up confused as to whether I've just had a cigarette or not!   Or sometimes in my dream I think, oh it's only a dream, I can smoke, no damage!  That's fantastic how well the hypnosis has worked.  DH had a learning difficulty with times tables, eventually he went to a hypnotherapist in Yr8 and it worked for him.

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SW: Aug08 - 103.8kgs
CW: 95.8kgs (lost 8kgs)
GW: 79kgs by Mar09

i can't sleep

:(

not too much paining, but again insomnia. argh. at least i'm not getting up to 1)eat or 2) smoke!

had some water, tried to go back to sleep an hour ago. tossed & turned so am back up. more water. will see how i go.

dh is going back to work after a few days of being sick too (we've had chesty/sinusy infections here) so he needs to rest.

xxx

well it's 10 days since i had a cigarette!

yay!!!!! don't even feel any inclination or stress about it or craving, like in the past attempts.

i feel like my ears & throat are going to explode, they're quite sore this morning. we were at a friends place last night and sitting outside by the fire, i had on 2 jumpers & a rug around me as well and i think i've had too much cold chill. funny weather at the moment. i think we'll be in for the coldest winter in a long time. no bushfires really this season, so hmmm will wait & see, but that's my prediction.

foot is incredible. the first time i had the cortisone, i was off the foot for almost 10 days, and no painkiller could help it. this time, i've had 2 panadeine, the night i had the injection, and that's it! i'm pretty much not hobbling or limping, there's practically no pain, dull or otherwise, i'm cautious to say that it's done it's magic quite quickly this time.

i spoke with my physio yesterday and he seemed concerned the doc wants me to do everything i can to rupture the PF so i don't have to have surgery, as he's worried about afterwards (support and long term problems with the foot) but he said to be guided by the doc in the end. so of course, being an inquisitive son of a *** that i am, i'm now questioning again the tactics and approach to treating this foot. argh. some days i wish i was not a damn thinker. (Basically, the surgery the doc would do is to rupture the PF with an incision. If i managed to rupture it on my own, I wouldn't need to have the invasive bit ie the cutting of the PF, but I'd still have the same amount of pain & crap afterwards...)

anyhoooo

i have a busy day, have already been on the hop since very very early, with much more to do! have a great weekend all!
kaz xx

ps i have kept a faithful food journal for the past week too, so it's good to see what i'm doing, and how i'm consciously adding more variety. my gf did point out that i still have massive amounts of guilt associated with food as i'd had a mars bite-sized snack & wasn't happy about it... so obviously more issues to work thru there. is all good. i am a  fabulously beautiful confident happy permanent non-smoker :)

Ah. your post made me smile!

Well done on, how exciting for you to be a non smoker! 

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!

i found out this afternoon that my cousin whom i adored and idolised growing up committed suicide on friday.
i am devastated.
i think i wrote about her a while ago when some stuff had happened.
as shocked as i am, i have not smoked. i have not pigged out. i have not given myself a reason or an excuse.
i am just allowing myself to feel the sadness and shock and disbelief.
i don't know what to say.

xx

I'm so sorry to hear your news, Kaz.  There's a whole range of emotions that comes with loss and grief so you must be feeling pretty 'all over the place'.  A cigarette won't help at all, it'll offer no words of comfort and give no genuine relief, and you know this, so look after yourself and I hope you feel a bit better this morning.

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SW: Aug08 - 103.8kgs
CW: 95.8kgs (lost 8kgs)
GW: 79kgs by Mar09

Oh Kaz, honey.............. I am so sorry for the loss you and yours have suffered, and the sadness your cousin must have been enduring. Suicide is such a terrible thing for all involved. Much love.

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!

thanks girls... i am fine today, spoke to mum & dad. everyone's of course shocked but there's not much you can do.

on a positive note, i lost 2 kilos this week!
my gf & i have made a secret pact (none of our other mates in our group know about it) and we're spurring each other on. she's a bit deflated as she lost half a kilo and was expecting more. mind you she hopped on the scales every day. so we've decided from here on in, we're only getting on them once a month. and our aim is to lose 10% by christmas. any more is a bonus! so yay!!!

xxx

mon:
b: 2 slices multigrain toast w/ vegemite, 2 weetbix 1/2 cup lowfat milk, 1 skinny mocha
l&s: 1/4 cheese platter @ chandon (we went on a winery tour), 1 leek & artichoke tart with salad, 2 glasses champagne, 1 skinny mocha
d: 1 handful chips & 2 potatocakes (we were late back from winery tour...ICK also note this is not a regular meal choice)

tues:
b: 3 x multigrain toast w/ vegemite, skinny mocha
l: bowl homemade vegie & lentil soup, slice bread w/ cottage cheese
d: hommeade spag w/ tomato sauce with salad
s: lesnack; 2 snack mars bars

weds:
b: bowl porridge w/ lowfat milk, 1 tsp sugar, skinny mocha
l: homemade vegie & lentil soup, 1 slice bread  w/cottage cheese
d: steamed vegies, potato & pumpkin mash
s: bowl vegie & lentil soup

thurs:
b: 2 x multigrain toast & 2 boiled eggs, skinny mocha
l: steamed broccoli & baked potato w/ cottage cheese & salad
d: homemade spag with pumpkin & zuchinni sauce

fri:
b: 2 poached eggs on toast, skinny mocha (out with girls for breaky)
l: baked potato w/ cottage cheese & salad, handful of cashews
d: out @ friends - 4 slices vegie pizza no cheese (lowfat fetta on it)
s: wine, small handful of crackers/dip over course of night

sat:
b: 2 x multigrain toast, baked beans & cottage cheese
l: ummmm.... eeek! didn't eat!
d: had dd's party - had 3 glasses champagne over whole night, chopped melon fruit, handfull crackers/dip, piece homemade bruscetta, little bit of salad.

Mmmmmmmmmmm, yummy food! AND 2kgs off! you are da BOMB!

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!

well my rough week has stayed on that keel.
my cousin's funeral is tomorrow, and i won't be attending. i'll be on a plane with my parents to tasmania, and will be internet free for a week. i've had a lot of sleepless nights or broken sleep, a lot of headaches, and an extreme return of foot pain that indicates next stop will be the surgeon's table. it's meant of course continued physical impedement. i've been feeling the weightiness of depression licking at my heels and so this holiday is well timed. through it all i've remained a non-smoker. of that i'm very very proud.

i am looking forward to a break from my life, to be honest. there's a lot to digest (forgive the pun!) and even though both my parents smoke (ICK!) i know i'll be ok. i keep mentally reinforcing my control of the situation, and my inner confidence, and it's a wonderful feeling to have. i've found a masseuse & a physio in tassie and will likely have at least one session with the masseuse. am thinking of going to the roman baths too, as the heat could be quite beneficial to my continuous pain. i've not had any pain relief for any of the agonies i've endured, as i'm keeping a pain/headache diary for the doctor, so we can work out what to do, what form of treatment we can engage in. most of the medications for chronic migraine/cluster headaches or whatever this is, has a major weight-gain factor, and we want to avoid that.

had my daughter's very late birthday party on saturday (it's dragged out with little mini-celebrations, this one was with her friends, not just our motorbike/camping crew which was drinks last weekend). one of my psychological beliefs for the longest time that i destroyed last year was my 20 year avoidance of cakes... so i had some birthday cake. i always used to say ' i don't eat cake' which translated to my belief that i am too fat to eat cake and so must always deny it. a small psychological victory but i can say i had my cake and ate it ;)

anyway, this past week has shown me that i've had very little tolerance for others of late. my son has copped a massive blasting from me a couple of times (fire & fire the two of us!) and while i've not had post-quit ragings i have been far from operating from a place of love of late. i have felt so stretched beyond my capabilities that i've practically fallen in a heap, and so i plan to use this week away for some serious R&R.

until next week, i wish you all well!

luv kaz xx

Enjoy the trip Kaz!

 

Ray

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My new book: Winners Do What Losers Don't