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I just had the worst childcare dropoff. Today is the first day back, so I was expecting it to be a bit of an issue, particularly for Mr Two, who has never responded well to the dropoff, even though he loves the childcare centre. So we went in to Mr Two's room, dropped off his stuff, met some of the people, then went into Ms Three's room to the same thing - took Mr Two with us as well. Hung around there for a while, and while I was talking to the woman in charge of the room my DH took Mr Two back to his room. I told Ms Three I was leaving, and she was absolutely fine - I said "I have to go to work now" and she said "I want to stay in my room" and I said "Ok, that's great, you can do that!" and after refusing a goodbye kiss she played happily as I walked out the door. All good so far.

So I went back into Mr Two's room, and he was fine until there was a suggestion that he go and play outside - he started screaming and clinging on to my DH then to me - my DH gave him a kiss and left but I decided to stay to try to calm him down. So I tried to distract him, put some sunscreen on him, took him outside, tried to distract him again and again, but he would be distracted for maybe 10 seconds but that was it. Long story short I ended up pushing a truck and he ran after it, and when he did that I bolted out the door - and he started screaming and screaming and screaming. I decided to stay in the car until he was ok (the carpark is right next to his playground) and he had 15 minutes of screaming and kicking everyone who came anywhere near him followed by 10 minutes of cuddles and crying with one woman, then 10 minutes of cuddles and pouting with another woman, and then when I left he had been lying on the ground on his tummy for 10 minutes, quiet but refusing to play. I was in tears - I just wanted to go and give him cuddles and tell him it was ok. I feel so guilty for leaving so quickly because that's what set him off - even though I know that he would have been upset no matter what happened.

And on top of all that I've had a headache since before bed last night that won't go away even with the aid of panadol, I very nearly threw up when I got up this morning, and now I'm simultaneously queasy and hungry. And no, I am definitely not pregnant! And now I get to sit at a computer all day and cull a years worth of emails. So all round, a fairly bad morning followed by the prospect of a fairly boring day.

Boo hoo woe is me!!!!

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

You'll beat yourself up all day about this and worry and fret and feel utterly miserable and you know you'll go to pick him up this afternoon and he'll have forgotten all about it and not want to come home.

Kids... who'd have 'em. 

The emails can wait until tomorrow, turn the radio on and do a little dance.

Smiles right at ya,

Jo

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On the headaches have you discussed them with a doctor?

The current migraine medication is very good.

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The headache was just a headache rather than a migraine, but thanks for the concern :)

One more week til I meet with the surgeon.....

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

I meet with the surgeon tomorrow afternoon. I have gone from being all excited and confident to being scared and nervous. Is is weird to worry that a meeting with a specialist in obesity surgery will involve a conversation about how you're really fat?!!!!

Ohhh, just got to the sugar part of my coffee - I thought they'd forgotten to put it in, but nope, they just hadn't stirred so it's all in the last two cm of the cup. Bleugh.

Busy busy busy at the moment. I have 71 emails in my work inbox that I need to respond to, and I'm enrolling first years all day. At home am stressed because I just can't get the house clean!!!! I get it sparkling and 10 mins later there's food and filth all over it again!!! It's driving me crazy. Am also back into the study - semester doesn't start until the end of Feb but I've been doing some preparation so I can spread the load out a bit. Spent Sat reviewing Statistics and Sun reviewing basic neurology.

Haven't been to the gym in ages - two weeks actually. Have been going home with the babies at the end of the day, because it's the start of the creche year and I thought they might need their mummy. Either that, or their mummy needed them!!!! And then today I have to work late since, as I said, I've got heaps to do.

So, meet with the surgeon tomorrow, and then we'll see where we're at.

 

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

Hey Coops,  sounds really hectic with you at the moment.  Its not at all weird to be worried and its good that you know the real reason for your nerves being the nitty gritty behind your weight.

You sound really stressed, overworked and underpaid, and like time is really tight.  I reckon its time to prioritise some time for your sanity and get out to do some exercise.  Not for weight management but to get the blood pumping, clear the head and collect your wits again to be able to keep up such a busy schedule. 

You've got alot of challenges to achieve this year (family, study, self) and its only the beginning so be kind to yourself.   

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Hey Jo, yes it is hectic - life is always hectic! It's funny but I've been so stressed I'd genuinely forgotten about the endorphins from exercise! I'd been thinking of it as "another thing to do" rather than a "stress release". Thanks for the reminder that it's actually something pleasurable!!!

I met with the surgeon yesterday. Surgery looks like it'll happen in March! So soon! So I need to have a whole stack of blood tests, then back for another appointment, then Optifast for the two weeks prior, then the surgery. He was really encouraging and said he believes that I'll have a really good outcome, and that I should be expecting to do much better than the average weight loss (which is 55% of your excess weight). So we had a chat about targets - I said that even though the BMI charts say 65kg I'd be happy with mid-70s, and he said he thinks that I should be confident I can reach that, because I seem to understand the role and limitations of the band - that it's a tool, it doesn't do the work for me etc etc. We had a chat about someone I know who has had the surgery who exists on fruit smoothies and Wendy's milkshakes, and how basically both of us feel that is NOT what I want to be doing post-surgery!

I came home from the appointment quite giddy with excitement about finally having this, and feeling like I really can put in the effort without it all being wasted the first time I hit a hurdle or a lifestyle change!

 

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

I am glad you are feeling so positive, Coops! Which surgeon did you see?

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!

I can hear such a change in you since yesterday.  It's great to hear the doc is so positive too.  Its just the beginning but its definately a new a positive path ahead now.

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I will be having my first fill in the band on Tuesday during my recovery from the surgery there was a time that I was just indifferent about food.

I hope the surgery goes well for you as silly as it sounds if you were going to be successful using less aggressive methods you would be loosing weight by now.

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hey there coops.. aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!! i have had a few weeks of carrying on and tantrums during day care drop offs too.. I have found that if i linger around and try to entertain them, my kids are far worse than if i just go in reassure them that im going to work and will be back later.. give them a quick cuddle and kiss and leave. A few of the teachers and the director said to me that when parents prolong the leaving children interpret this as "mum or dad dont want to leave me here" so they begin to feel insecure and of course the tantrums start.. once this happens you end up with a half our long screaming session. When i know my girls are going to have a bad morning i usually find a worker they are familiar with and get them to give the girls a cuddle and they then involve them in an activity and i can leave without any dramas.

 I too have been neglectful of my gym time.. i went from this robotic woman who never missed a day.. (thanks to the BFL challenge) to one who has every excuse under the sun as to why i cant get there.. I have found it especially hard since i started work but am slowly getting back into it! I did a few cardio work outs this last week and its true.. i had forgotten about the wonderful endorphin release!

Good luck with the banding surgery, do you have a certain ammt of kilos you have to lose before the operation?

Hey everyone, thanks for all the support

Jane, my surgeon is a guy named Andrew Smith - see http://www.lapbandaustralia.com.au/surgeons.html. He's really nice - no judgement at all, good sense of humour. Turns out he knows my cousin, who's also a surgeon. I think in many ways he probably sees himself much the way Ray does - as someone with the tools to help the overweight and obese change their lives. They just do it in different ways.

Jo, yes, I do feel that it is the beginning of a new positive path, and I'm very pleased and excited about it 

Don, I am often indifferent about food too - in truth it's probably a contributor to the fact that I am eating very badly, because I just don't care enough about food to prepare decent food . Self-fulfilling I think though - I think if I put more effort into making nice food I'd enjoy food more, and be more inclined to eat properly.

On the weight loss thing, the thing for me is that I know I CAN lose weight - over the course of 2006 I lost 20kgs - the problem for me is keeping it off when there's a stressor or a major life change. In my case, the weight loss was due to exercising two hours a day - taking MissMel's cue - but then I simultaneously went back to study and to work and I just lost that time completely from my day, and - not surprisingly - the weight came back on  . So the surgery for me is about the confidence that I can live like a normal person - eat like one, exercise like one, and still stay slim and healthy - rather than being a crazy person who obsesses about what they eat and exercises constantly, which is what I was doing in 2006, and what I would need to do again to both lose this weight and to keep it off without the surgery.

LW, I still feel conflicted about the drop-off actually - if I linger, then it doesn't change anything and makes me tense and late for work, but if I leave quickly I feel like I'm abandoning and rejecting him in his time of need. Ah, the lose-lose joys of being a parent..... The good news is that by the end of last week the tantrum was down to about 10 minutes, and my DH tells me that this morning when my DH dropped them off Mr Two had a 30 second whine, realised his sister was still in the room and was playing happily, and then it was all good, so DH was able to leave without a problem .

Am still yet to get back to the gym, but I did ride to the pathology place on Saturday morning for all of my pre-surgery blood tests - it took about 15 minutes each way . Planned to go to the gym on each of Sunday and Monday but was diverted by a family crisis - my mum is in Melbourne sick (she's been here since before Christmas and is likely to be here for another month) and she got a call on Saturday morning saying one of her dogs had died, so Saturday was spent trying to calm her down (she adores her dogs, revolting little mutts that that they are) and Sunday was spent driving her all the way to Echuca and back to collect her dead dog and her alive dog so that we could bring them back to Melbourne and bury the dead one in my garden (Mum's about to retire and move back to Melbourne and didn't want to leave Sophie in Echuca) and keep the other one at my place until Mum goes back. Monday was then spent tidying the entire house while DH and the kids went to the zoo because I went to buy a sofa-bed [so my mum can stay with me (she's currently with my sister) so she can be closer to her dog] and I didn't have anywhere to put it. I think that given how sore and exhausted I was on Monday night that spending the day cleaning was equivalent to a gym workout though!

I was up for two hours with Miss Three last night, who had a blocked nose and couldn't sleep, so after getting up for the third time in 20 minutes I brought her into bed with me - which didn't help of course as she proceeded to wriggle and talk - so I was lying in bed with her, and I looked at the clock at 5:28 and thought "ok, if I'm still awake at 6am I will get up and go to the gym" - and off course dropped straight off to sleep . And need to work late tonight, so no gym today.

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

I must admit I have lost weight and put it back on again as well.

 

I found the pending operation very motivating in that loosing weight and being fitter should increase the chances of having a trouble free surgery and recovery.

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Ditto on the motivation aspect re the surgery.

LW I realised you asked if I had to lose a certain amount before the surgery - I was told No I don't. I do have to go on Optislim for the two weeks prior (the info we were given was that it's ~800 cals per day! Eek!) but no, no goal weight loss. I gather from the info I was given that the time you have to go on Optislim for varies from patient to patient - I don't know what criteria he uses to determine how long it should be. I meet with the surgeon again at the end of this month to review the results of my blood tests, check I'm ok for surgery, and book it in. I might ask him then what criteria he uses re O/S time.

Gymed yesterday - 35min x-trainer, 503 cals burned.

Today was the first day in a long time that I haven't had chinese food for lunch - had a bought pre-packaged sandwich instead, which was 583 cals. Brekky was one pc of raisin toast w marg (140 cals) and a skinny latte (100 cals), so that's about 820 cals today. OMG, I can't imagine only eating this amount of calories for a whole day when I'm on Optislim!! But at least it will only be for two weeks, and it'll get me to the surgery.

Was going to gym again this morning but my visit yesterday was in the evening and when I got to bed last night I felt tired and stressed by the exercise, so decided not to push it. Might go tonight though, depending on how I feel whenI get home. Other factor is whether DH has a telecon - if he does he won't be home til 8:30, so no time for gyming.

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

Do you have a date for the surgery??

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