i'm starting a new journal.
i'm not even sure if i'll keep it contiunally, but heck, i'll do my best...
so as of the past few days (weeks months years), i'm trying to mentally dispose of all previous attempts, failures, preconceptions, ideas, truths (and lies) i've been told, and those i've taken on board...
i'm going to approach this as if i've never dieted, never exercised, never failed, never tried, as though i was just born yesterday. albeit one very big bouncy baby lol...
soooooo.......
here goes...
things i must change in my life...
- negative self destructive thoughts
- self hatred
- self hating actions - smoking, drinking too much
- feelings of self defeat
- feelings of inadequacy
- pain - physical & mental
- lack of motivation
- lack of direction
- lack of focus
- all or nothing attitude
- giving in to temptations - occasionally is fine, 4 times a week (sometimes more) is not
- not reaching goals
- setting unrealistic goals
- pretending i don't care
- painful death thought obsessions
- getting too comfortable
- not overdoing it
- learn to accept & own my feelings and emotions
- learn to explore and understand and then learn from my own feelings & emotions
- be accountable to myself
- learn to take time to just be
- learn to ask for help
- learn to accept help
- seek truth and guidance
these are a few of the things i need to work on...
at last i've written them down.
cheers
cg xx