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I notice that there are a few threads in here about 'starting all over again' - it's reassuring that it's not just me!!!

Ok, so I haven't been on here in ages. I've been v busy, and am now officially at just about the heaviest weight I have ever been. Trust me, I have a looooonnnnnggggg way to go to get back to where I was

Am still doing PTing but have not done any cardio for I don't know how long. So I'm ultra-strong (leg pressing nearly 200kg!!) but SO unfit I can barely get through a 3-5min cardio session with my PT

But I did buy a bike recently and today I started to ride to work for the first time - it's quite a hike, it take me about 25mins to drive it. But I was doing really well and having SO much fun .... until I rode into a pole 25mins/ 1/3 way into it and busted both the bike and myself [:'(] - the bike wasn't too bad, just the chain came off, but major damage to my shoulder, some very impressive cuts all over my leg, and me left feeling very wiggy about getting back on the bike. So, given the fact that I don't know how to get the chain back on the bike, I phoned my husband, who wonderfully packed Miss3 and Mr2 into the car and came and rescued his poor damsel in distress. So went home and ended up driving in to work. (Yes, I'm working on the weekend - slightly depressing, but it's extra $$ so no )

So anyway, that's where I'm at - fat and bruised, but otherwise good, and really feeling good about getting back on this wagon.

And, just because I am so worried about how fat I am and the fact I have small children and don't want them to inherit my food issues, I'm going to an info session on lap-banding on Wednesday night. I know that it takes about 12 months from the first appointment until you have the surgery, so just in case something does happen - say I come off my bike and get hit by a car or break my leg - at least I know that it won't necessarily mean another huge delay in getting rid of this weight (btw - I'm not saying what I weigh - but my BMI is well over 40 - so I'm being realistic here, NOT defeatist!!)

C ya all l8r,

Coops

 

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

hi darling - wonderful to see you!!!!!

great to hear you are still seeing your PT...  re the cardio - could you suggest to your PT that now you want to focus on increasing your fitness level by building up your cardio stamina? keep doing the strength training, but incorporate stuff to give you that extra overall edge?

hope your bruises mend - sending you loads of luv & hugs
kaz x

Thanks Kaz :)

I'm actually not worried about the cardio - I can do that myself. I have done interval training a few times in the last few weeks, but not consistently. The thing with cardio is that I know how and when to do it - but with strength training I need someone there for the technique, so that I don't injure myself. And, I can check my cardio program with my PT so I can make sure I'm getting a good mix.

The other thing is that I've just changed PT's because I changed my training time, and this one focuses a lot more on cardio than strength, so I think it's all good anyway. And, he takes a couple of the classes, so essentially I could go to his classes and just get him to yell at me when he thinks I'm slacking off!!

 Am having a very good day :)  I've come up in very nice black bruises on my arm, and my DH thinks it's very cute that I now have a clear imprint of a bike pedal on the back of my leg!  I am proud of my injuries rather than put off by them though - I consider them proof of efforts made :D 

Am planning on riding to and from work tomorrow - but have amended the plan to one where I ride to Syndal, catch the train to East Malvern, then ride to work (I work in Caulfield) and vice versa - so it'll end up being about 20min in each leg of the journey - which is better than the nothing I've been doing!! (Btw sorry to any non-Melbourne people for the place names - but I'm sure you'll get the gist!)

Coops

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

G'day Coops, nice to see you again!  Have you had a ride again yet?

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SW: Aug08 - 103.8kgs
CW: 95.8kgs (lost 8kgs)
GW: 79kgs by Mar09

Hey Lorna!

Nup, I haven't ridden again yet. I was going to ride this morning, but I had an appointment with the physio at 8am, and it's on the way to work, so I couldn't be bothered having to go all the way home to get the bike - it would have taken too long. Plus, I have a class that finishes at 8pm and I think I'm too nervous at the moment to try riding in the dark! Will probably ride tomorrow though.

Physio said I'd essentially given myself a whiplash across my shoulder, neck and back, so she did some work on it and told me to go easy, and to keep it loose. So at least no significant damage done!

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

OUCH Coops!!!! You poor duffer. I stay away from bikes, as that is precisely the kind of thing *I* would do!

How serious are you about the lap banding thing? I used to toss the idea around, but decided I KNOW the reason I am not getting anywhere, and am really hopeful the dietician/counsellor I have started seeing is going to help me get to the real root of the problem. So far so good! Best of luck to you, whatever you choose! 

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!

Hi Coops,

Great to see you back!

Ray

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My new book: Winners Do What Losers Don't

OUCH!!!!!!!! I hope your feeling better now, at least you have determination.. good on you!

Hi Jane and Ray :)

Jane, I don't know how serious I am about the lapbanding thing. I know that because there's a 12 month wait that it's probably better to start things going, and then in 12 months if my efforts have - yet again - been unsuccessful then at least it's there as an option. Part of me hates the idea of basically never being able to eat again, but the part of me that I have to see in the mirror every morning loves the idea of being able to fit into nice clothes and not constantly worry about how awful I look and how I can't find anything decent to wear. Today, I am sitting at my desk self-conscious about my shirt and thinking that maybe I need to go and buy a new one at lunch time because I feel so uncomfortable.

Like you I KNOW the reason I'm not getting anywhere, but, I'm sure you also know how hard it is to find the time. My day is: 6:30 - get up, shower & dress, do battle with the babies about getting them dressed, breakfast, into the car, drop them off at childcare, drive to work, work all day, drive back to the childcare centre, pick up the kids, have them whinge all the way home because they're tired and hungry, prepare dinner for the kids, do battle over the bath- hair-combing- bed routine, get them into bed by 8, spend the next hour making then eating dinner interspersed with going in to tell the kids to stop jumping on the bed and no I'm not going to read them another story, so that I barely even get the chance to say hello to my husband until about 9pm. So where do I fit the exercise in there?! And on weekends it's easier for me to exercise because I can do it first thing in the mornings, but then I still study all day, and usually don't get home until 8pm.

I have been thinking about when I lost all that weight last year (I lost 20kg in about six months!) and the thing was that I was studying in the city, so I could get the kids up and send them off with my husband to do the drop-off, then walk up to the train station (45min up a hill) - and then of course I had to do the 45min walk home as well. And, when I exercise, my eating naturally falls into line. So that's why I was able to lose all the weight. But working in Caulfield makes it a bit harder - hence the deciding to ride to work. It would also be possible for me to walk up to the train station again - catch the train from Blackburn to Burnley, change trains, get off at Caulfield - which would still take forever but would at least give me 90mins of exercise most days. And then I could still ride in to uni to study on weekends. So I am thinking that that will probably have to be what I end up doing if I am ever going to lose this weight without surgery.

I read this article last night - it's from the Saturday Age last weekend. Some of you might find it interesting. I basically feel like I am that woman.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/in-depth/bursting-at-the-seams/2007/08/17/1186857761668.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

Oh, yes, i understand the time thing! Even if you only do your walk thing a few days a week, that would help. How are you with the eating though? Because for ME that is my problem. Except when I am sick, I don't mind the exercise and I CAN make it fit in, but I negate it by eating unhealthy foods and unrealistic portions. and I guess that is why surgery would not work for me, I would not have overcome the mental issues at all, which is MY battle!

That article is great, isn't it? But this comment speaks volumes.

"For me, everything worked for a while, sometimes as long as six months. I would be jubilant. Each time this was it, the answer, the road back to health, slimness, and all the associated social benefits: some nasties do discriminate against fat people. But sooner or later the diet would stop working and I would get back the weight I'd lost and some more besides. And this has been my story since my early 20s."

same as me, basically. BUT had my psychological issues with food been dealt with, it would have been vastly different. If I had the right attitudes to food, I think losing weight and keeping it off would have been easier. Time shall tell! LOL! 

 

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!

Jane, to answer your question (How am I with the eating?) - um - not great. Getting better. Re-learning it. Got out of the habit of eating properly when my depression relapsed. It's not about knowledge necessarily, it's about habit, and ways of dealing with stress. These are the skills that I still need to retrieve.

I went to the lap-band info session on Wednesday night, and basically walked out of it thinking "Right, well, that's what I'm going to do." I think the thing that appealed to me was - and this does make sense, I promise! - the fact that they said it's NOT an easy fix. They said that you still have to eat properly, but that because your stomach size is so much smaller what you eat really has to count. They said it is in fact possible to put on weight with the lap band because of bad choices - having six sugars in your tea, or eating ice cream or chocolate - and that because so few people do eat perfectly (the surgeon even admitted that he falls into the 'overweight' range on the BMI - which I could tell from the pot he had!) that most people don't get down to their "ideal" weight - that it can be done, but that the aim of the surgery isn't to make you super-skinny, it's to make you not-obese.

He said it requires discipline, and that making the right food choices is still important, as is regular exercise - the role of the lap band is to work on removing those hunger pangs that, as we all know, often prove so effective in undoing all the work that is done in changing our food choices and increasing our exercise.

He said that he knows that people think it's an "easy fix" but that it is far from that - that it takes years to get the weight off, that it takes commitment, that it involves pain and risk - but that the research shows that 'traditional' weight loss methods are really effective for losing about 10kgs - but that if you have 60kgs to lose that's not going to help you terribly much.

Anyway, have some stuff to do - someone in my office to see me - better go and do some work....

 

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

Phoned my personal trainer on Saturday to reschedule the session because I was too stressed about getting the house clean for my son's birthday party (he was two on Friday) and we agreed on 8:30 today - so I rocked up this morning, did the warm-up, still no sign of him, so went and asked at the desk and they said he wasn't in yet - so I did 20mins on the x-trainer (HR 170-180 for the whole time) before heading off to work. Got a call from him a while later - he meant 8:30 tonight! So long story short I am going to have to miss a class tonight to make it to the session. Which stresses me out. But my DH is taking tomorrow off so I can study, so hopefully that will reduce some stress for me.

Feeling very roller-coastery today. Had a great morning because it is such nice weather, and I was really happy with having gone to the gym and done a decent workout (ok, could have been longer - but it was better than the nothing I've been doing!) - got to work and straight away felt flat - went out at lunch and felt better (the weather thing again I think) and now I'm all flat again. SUPER stressed about study. Not even remotely hungry but still REALLY want some chocolate.

Heading off to class now. First class on cognitive psychology.

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

Oh Coops, such a shame, that time misunderstanding, when you are already feeling under pressure! yay for nice husbands!

I can see that lap banding is tempting, and i in no way think of it as the easy way out. I actually know of 3 ladies who have had them, one is now 35 kg heavier than she was to start with, one is 200lbs lighter (and has stayed at 300lbs for 5 yrs now, doesn't seem to be losing at all now) and another one who lost nothing! Another lady I see around the area I live lost 60kg, is about 60 kg now, and has remained that way for 8 yrs1 So, it is obviously not the quick and easy fix some think! Good luck to you. Being overweight is horrible, I understand.

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!

That time mis-understanding was fine actually - I figure it gave me extra cardio, and in fact the cardio session felt so good that I think that alone has been enough to get me back on the exercise wagon!

Did my pt session last night, then got up this morning and walked up to the train station to come in to work. It took me TWO HOURS to get here all up - this is why people drive!!!!  But I feel good about having walked. I'll either catch the train home tonight or my DH will come and collect me - I don't finish until 8pm and I don't know that I like the idea of walking alone at 10pm. So I'll see how I go.

IF I do have the lap-band then it won't be for another year, so I'm certainly not going to be sitting around going "well, I'm having the lap band so there's no point trying to be healthy" - I'll still be exercising and eating healthily, trying to get as much weight off as I can, esp since that's what you have to do once you have the surgery - might as well get into the habit now!

 

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

The other thing I was going to say was that I was filling out the medical forms for the lap-band surgery (even though I'm not going in for another year) and I don't have any of the medical problems they were asking about, except for depression.

For me, all of my issues with my weight are personal/ social. I hate:

·         not being able to wear nice clothes

·         feeling self-conscious when I exercise (this is why I only ride to uni to study on weekends - because no-one's around to see me!)

·         feeling defensive about the food that my kids eat (e.g. yesterday I sent around photos for my son's second birthday and felt so defensive about my weight that I had to say "it wasn't me who bought him the giant slurpee, blame my husband" - and I know they probably wouldn't even have noticed it if I hadn't commented on it, but my defensiveness won out!)

·         worrying that my weight will affect my ability to find a job when I finish my degree

And, how bad is this - I HATE not fitting into the seats in the lecture theatre.

 

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing