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Hi coops,  I think talking about things that make you feel sad, guilty, or at a loss to resolve with someone else, anyone else who may shed some light relief is a great thing. 

 The problem for me about depression is that it tends to be a bit self-fulfilling - I feel too depressed to exercise but not exercising makes me feel worse.

 Let me just say well done for recognising this, its half the battle with depression.  Its well documented that depression steals all the strength (physically and mentally) from us and feeds the weaknesses so it leaves us wanting to stay in doors, when being outside and/or doing some exercise and being around/talking with other people (all those things we just dont feel up to or confident about) that will work best to help us through.

You are doing yourself proud in keeping on keeping on and getting out to exercise when you've been so grief-stricken.  I hope you dont feel that you should be "over it" or should not be getting so sad any more.  It is quite human to feel as you do. 

Good Luck at the obstetrician.

 

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Thanks Jo.  I had certainly been feeling like I shouldn't be quite as upset as I have been, so I appreciate your sympathy and support

The conversation with the obstetrician was good. He answered my questions, was very reassuring, and I'm very glad I contacted him.

I had a vanilla Optislim shake for breakfast - and couldn't even finish it, because it was so awful. I very nearly threw up in the car. The coffee is much less awful (though still not great) so I think I'm better off cutting my losses at this box and chucking it. Sure, it cost me $25 - but if I keep trying to force myself to eat it I'll just make myself sick, or use its awful taste as an excuse to go and buy some thing else. So I'll chuck it and just keep on with the Coffee one and the OptiFast.

This is the all kindsa crazy part of the post: I have known for a while that one of the things that got me off track at the end of 2006 was my sister and mother telling me how fabulous I looked! I am certain that there is all sorts of stuff in there that I could share about why their compliments had the opposite effect, so that part doesn't really surprise me. The thing that did surprise me was that I remembered on the way in to work today having a conversation with my GP years ago (a different GP to the one I see now) and we were talking about my weight and the need to decrease it, and I said "Well, I've just lost half a kilo a week every week for the last fourteen weeks" and said "Really?!". He was genuinely pleased for me and impressed by my commitment. But here's the thing - after he was so impressed, I took it as permission to slack off - and over about six months all that weight came back on. I honestly don't know why but having people tell me I look fantastic and whatever I'm doing is paying off - it has the *opposite* effect of motivating me. I think that's what appeals to me about the band - it makes it so much harder to self-sabotage. I mean, I know I can self-sabotage - but I'm going to have to fight to do it rather than do it subconsciously, and I feel incredibly reassured by that :D

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

Counter-argument to the article I posted a link to the other day. This one is from today's Age.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/opinion/curbing-the-obesity-epidemic/2008/02/21/1203467280758.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1

 

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

Em, I REALLY understand that last paragraph about compliments, I am the same! Maybe we feel we do not deserve the nice words, and thus sabotage our efforts subconciously? It IS stupid, isn;t it?

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!

I must admit comparing obesity to global warming seems to suggest that the only organisms on the plant that are important are people in western countries.

 

After all the diabetes mob and the heart mob.

 

Wouldn’t want bariatric surgeons causing a drastic reduction in the illnesses that they make money from

 

After all if the government put money into programs that work the poor politicians will have to find another cause to support.

 

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I think that's a bit harsh Don!!  To suggest that cardiologists and endocrinologists want people to stay sick? I think you'll find most doctors would prefer not to have any patients - and I mean that in the nicest possible sense! I actually thought their suggestion that money be put into the "prevention" end of the spectrum by designing environments that promote health and wellbeing rather than putting money into "treatment" via surgery was quite reasonable.

Jane, yes, we are two crazy ladies.... For me I don't think it's that I don't deserve the praise. With regards the comments from my sister and mother, I think it's more that in my family there is this constant focus on weight and appearance and I think that when I get comments about losing weight a part of my sub-conscious reacts against that by saying "right, you think I'm buying into your obsession, so I'm going to show you that I'm not!" - and I self-sabotage. What the deal with the doctor was all those years ago though I don't know!!!!

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

It probably is harsh and certainly surgery should only be considered after other reasonable attempts at weight loss have failed.

 

And equally to deny these people a treatment option because of you personal opinion seems biased.

 

I wonder how many heart specialists refuse to see patients because they struggle to give up smoking.

 

While smoking is a dreadful habit and I would guess that most heart specialists would advise people to stop smoking.

 

I would also guess that if giving up smoking was as easy as deciding where to go on holidays with the money I have saved there would be no smokers.

 

Or do these people think

 

any body with a scrap of discipline can stop excessive eating.

 

any body with a scrap of discipline can stop smoking

 

any body with a scrap of discipline can stop drink driving

 

any body with a scrap of discipline can be careful and never be involved in an accident of any sort.

 

Do people really get so much pleasure from their bad habits that the consequences are worth it???

 

Life is complicated

 

After all perhaps the diabetes specialists should stick to diabetes issues and the heart specialists should stick to heart issues.

 

After all they both probably tell people to loose weight then they get upset if people then go and do something to loose weight?

 

They seem confused to me.

 

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The impression that I got was quite different. I think that they recognise that there are limited dollars available in the health budget, and the debate is about the distributing those dollars in the most efficient way. The surgeons make a valid point about equity of access to the surgery, and how at the moment it advantages those who have private health insurance (or lots of savings). The endocrinologists & cardiologists make a valid point about the need to have a health-promoting environment generally. I don't think they're in conflict; I think they're just coming at it from different perspectives. Deciding between the two is a job for the politcians when they allocate funding in the annual budget. But wherever the funding goes, it doesn't make one side more valid than the other - it's just a decision about best use of money.

 

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

How are you going, Coops? feeling OK?

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!

I've been musing for a while why I self-sabotage when close to goal weight.  I think (for me) it's from when I was a teenager, and I was thin, active and attractive.  I used to be ogled at a bit by some men and it really disgusted me.  There was an ugly but generally harmless incident as well.  Plus the awful disappearances of girls and women on the news all made me aware of the dangers of men.  I think I wanted to stop the unintended attraction of some people, in a very subconscious way.

So perhaps when people say that gee, you're looking great, I feel that I'm back into that dangerous zone of attracting a predator.  Just something I'm working through.  I've learnt that sex crimes are a truly selfish act, that have little to do with attraction and are about taking power, but still obese women are rarely victims of rape.

Mmmmm...I've often wanted to bring this up on the forum, how experiences with the opposite sex have influenced esteem and directly or indirectly their weight, but I'm sure it's so raw & personal a subject for some people that I haven't.

I'm not saying this is you, Coops, cos I wouldn't know, but I was thinking about it when you mentioned self-sabotage before.

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SW: Aug08 - 103.8kgs
CW: 95.8kgs (lost 8kgs)
GW: 79kgs by Mar09

Totally valid point, Lorna. TOTALLY. I was very thin until puberty kicked in, then began to eat the world. As a child my father abused me, so I am sure it is all tied up in that. No WAY was I prepared to be involved with boys in anything but a friendly way, even though my hormones told me otherwise! It goes WAY back, this sabotage stuff. WAY back.

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!

Yeah, the abuse-weight thing seems to be pretty common; I know or have read lots of cases of women who have used it as a defence mechanism.

In my case, I think that the thing about me reacting to my family is genuinely me going "no, I refuse to get caught up in the obsession that most of you have about physical appearance". I tend to find my family quite difficult to deal with, and it's a way for me to separate myself from them. (Btw, of the six other members of my family, three are obese, two are overweight, one has never had weight problems. Two of the obese and one of the overweight are OBSESSED by appearance/ weight loss, and the other obese one is very troubled by their weight, just as I am. So regarding the ones who are obsessed, the weight thing factors into this whole view of the world they have where they value all material/ superficial things - as far as they're concerned it's important to live in the right place and drive the right car and buy the right clothes and look the right way. I hate it the way they view the world, and I think I use my weight as a public way to reject that.

Other than that I am GREAT! I had a REALLY good chat with my obstetrician last week about my son who died - the last question I needed answered - and I'm feeling all good :)  Am supposed to be in class now but the lecturer didn't turn up so I'm going to go to the gym instead, then head home.

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

I'm glad you got a sense of closure regarding the medical side of things.  It's awful having prolonged worrying about why things happen the way they do, and missing pieces.  Things will be ok now.

I know what you mean about some people obsessing on having the right everything in order to create happiness, or project the perception of happiness to others.  I've meet quite a few people like that.  I wouldn't want their credit card debt though ;)

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SW: Aug08 - 103.8kgs
CW: 95.8kgs (lost 8kgs)
GW: 79kgs by Mar09

Front page of today's Herald-Sun under the heading Dying to be Thin: http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,23287759-661,00.html

 

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There is never a wrong time to do the right thing

Wow, Great article. Very sobering. Rick Kausman is great, I have to say I DO agree with what he has said, and they are the kinds of reasons why I have not found the cash to get this done. But wow.........

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Caution: Sarcastic and Cynical!!!